I looked at my own cervix.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
