I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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