All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
