i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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