I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
