I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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