doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
