Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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