ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
