found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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