i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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