it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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