I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
