Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
