i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
