Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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