You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
