I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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