out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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