I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
