She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Come share oat with me in your robe
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
