go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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