i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
