When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
