At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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