Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize