just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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