Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
