He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
