She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
