Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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