i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
