life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
