so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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