My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
