please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
