Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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