This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
