We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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