Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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