So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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