my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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