If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
