He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize