I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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