dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize