I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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