His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
