Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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