So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
