If i come over, it means nothing
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
