Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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