And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
All I want is dick and wine.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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