so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
