please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
