I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
