U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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