small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
