even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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