Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
