my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
