i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
