just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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