i just google imaged poop.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
