dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize