She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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